insanely me

im quiet. i want to say something , but word dont come... may be all i need is a true word of love and respect, but i doubt that.

i hate "admirers". ive become so sarcastic about it that as soon as a man starts flattering me, his words just tear my heart. im sick of it. it feels like there all dogs out there, who just wanna have a peace of me. thats the only part i hate about being a woman, that your gonna be chased all your life.

i dont want to be fancied, anymore.

a blank verse

equation of Perception
_Unveiling the truth _raising some curtains
________________________________

when i see...
i see YOU.
then a curtain is raised.
and i SEE again...
this time, its not YOU...
i see a SOUL.
another curtain is raised,
and i see MYSELF...
looking into a mirror.
now...
i love , i care, i feel, like for myself.
im home. its peace.
and there, i SEE again
its GOd. not me.
________________________________
P.S. : to resolve conflicts and make peace inside out, i need to see it all, from all possible veiwing posts, from all angles. i need all the eyes i can get to see the truth, n let no curtain be there to stop me from doing it... no curtain of fear, no weaknesses, no impotency, no hunger, no greed, no 'I's and no 'YOU's.
the stabbing of truth feels better than feeling of emtiness devouring my soul. i can live with the truth. but i cant live with a hole in my heart.

Laura lee K. Harris

link

http://www.lauraleekharris.com/fitin.html

saying "NO"

Giving is the most natural human respose. But when it comes to negative responses, its like rowing against the flow, or climbing uphill against gravity.

Saying no to jerks is easy. But its the most difficult task when theres a real gem of a person on the other side, a precious soul, a great human. Then it becomes like climbing up the Everest.

Today...I did that... Im sorry...I had to.

.....

May GOD bless us all. HE surely is the real ,n the only BENEFACTOR.

...of sweet dreams ( kafoor khwaab)

something so sweet was coming to an end, i just wished i could hold on to it for a few more moments. i was scared. i knew its time was up. but u see i just dint want to let it go. it is so natural. isnt it? :)

now, its rise n shine! but the dream has left a smile on my lips. :) ... enough to last me through another day ;)

as i was going through it, i scribbled a few lines. they might sound sentimental, but that was the moment for it! :DD, n its just the whole truth of it. i cant help it. like it or not, iv gotta say it. 8)

kafoor khwaab

~^~

kal din cherdhey tak bister mein

nenoan ko meechey letee thee

...

kahin nenn khuley... tou nenoan se

na khwaab ka panchi urd jaye...

saanchi kirnoan ki aanch se na

kahin mann ka jhoota deep bujhey

...kahin yun na ho, k nenn khuley

nenn khuley...aur preet dhaley...

...

bas... iss der mein,

damm saadh k wo,

nenoan ko meechey letee thee,

dou band kivardhoan k neechey,

panchi ko bheenchey bethee thee.

_______________

_flick_7th july/2005

undercurrents of the monologue

Ive been in the process of waking up from a dream. While I was away, I scribbled a few lines, hope they make some sense.

_

Yen

*

Losing a Hold.....

Its Slipping Through

Hand,

Got Breaths on a String;

...a Silken Strand

*

So Close, So Far,

...a Fond Figure;

Like Melting Shadow

...on Misty

Mirror

*

Illusion, Mirage, or real

Ecs'tasy;

All Lanterns of

Yen,

All Glint of Glee.....

_ flick, /June 29, 2005

The blog: Ticking again!

...hmmm, it has been a while since I stopped talking even to myself. The closure phase isnt over yet, but I guess the mood has changed. And, change is what I need now.

Enough of the procrastinating, its time to kick some butts (& bhattis) ;)

So I guess, I'll keep scribbling , occasionally, till things start making some sense. :) wish me luck!