mausam (the missing season)

(the original)................................

hope II

in true colors

hope

in black n white

shaam

...at the hussaini headworks

oh god! chacha gee! :D, you rock!

after reading this, in yesterdays paper, i just coudnt help laughing , and it kept me smiling the whole day
_________________________________________________________________
From:
Dancing in the desert
DIARY OF A VAGABOND (Magazine,DAWN,Sunday,March, 27, 2005)
by:
Mustansar Hussain Tarar
"Saeen Tarar, there is a limit to indecency, may Allah forgive fer, look at her closely. She is hardly wearing anything and the way she is shaking her body, Toba Toba!" , the pious Pakistani gentleman squatting next to me touched his ear lobes.
"Sir it is great sin to look at half-naked females, so do not look," I suggested.
"Saeen, I have paid a lot of dirhams to look at her so I have to look."

In the desert night, in front of our tent a belly dancer's slim body convylsed as she was going to have a fit of uncontrolable delight. This was the climax of the famous desert safari, ...Dubai. ___

___ After sometime he asked me, "Tarar Saeen tell me, is this dancer a Muslim?"
" Your guess is as good as mine, what if she is?"
"Toba Toba! saeen, a muslim girl dancing half-naked is shameful, she should be properly clad."
"I totally agree," I was rather enjoying the company of this intresting gentleman.
"Why dont you go up to the lady and cover her with your ajrak?"
"Do you think I should do it?" he became thoughtful.
"It is your duty as a good Muslim," I encouraged him though he did not need any encouragement being so high spirited. "You will be blessed on the day of judgement for this noble act."
He took off his ajrak and held it in front of him like a matador advancing towards a bull. "I would cover hernakedness so help me God," he went towards the belly dancer with resolute determination and when he was face to face with her and everyone was waiting that he will cover her with his ajrak, a totally unexpected thing happened; instead of performing his noble duty, he threw away the ajrak with a shout of "Ya Allah", and started dancing with her in pure ecstacy!

The next day I was leaving Dubai for Lahore and there in the desert night, a righteous Pakistani was dancing with the belly dancer forgetting that he had gone theer to clad her properly.

advice

(better keep a note of it for myself too, as i keep forgetting it all the time.

":). we are in the same boat. i know, its been too long, my patience is running out too. i worry, then i hope, i worry n hope again, its the way its gonna be, till it ends, as they all say, its a phase n its gonna end. inshaallah, n a happy ending it would be "

..... i was saying it to some one else.

...

hm, I was just thinking, how would I pass through this night... when it started to pour, poured for a while, n stopped. ..... now I hear a few clouds roaring somewhere up there. .....silence, there is, now again.....n my heart skips a beat, again.
Whats going on up there?..... I cant hear anything, not even a word, whispers are all I hear. Is there some conspiracy going on about me?
...It is so quiet. what do i do? should I cry, n let this pain off me ? or should I wait?... n see...
Im tired of this uncertainity. Its like waiting for a life sentence. Its like hanging up in space. Oh God! please o'God! set me free!
Birth n death, no one knows the time, when its gonna come, still when its about time, we just know. Same is the case with marriage
... n its about time. Its about time I start a new life... new beginnings, new meanings.
Im thinking. But what do i know? What can i know? Its still a gamble. The more I know, the more I get trapped. Retracing my steps, would be like breaking some hearts. But still if I really know "almost" everything ... still it is a gamble.
what can I do in a gamble?

...

hmmmmmmmmm :) its raining outside my window... n i can smell the earth...

mercury love

the more you'll run after it, the more it'll run away from you.
the more you'll try holding it, the more it'll slip away from you.
the only way you'll get it, will be, as a blessing.

(love quotes: by flick 8)

Love arranged

if u commit suicide with your family's help n support, its an arranged marriage.

if you arrange it all by yourself, its... a love marriage

(love quotes by flick 8)

do it yourself :

if dad says:
"beta! marry this cow"
you'll say:
"dad! how can u even think of marrying your own swan(son) to that cow? yuck!"
"your telling me to suicide?"
but
if
you yourself, someday,
happen to fall in love with a same cow or a bull, youll never think twice before "that" suicide.
thats called love. --- The Stupidipity.

(love fundas: by flick 8)

old bones

the older you get...the pickier you become.
least likely to compromise n thus "fall" in love.

(love quotes by flick 8)

young lovers

Young lovers are like arranged couples. not knowing each other, but the most eager to commit. ahhh!, the fascinations, its so strong, that it completely blinds them, n theyll make annny compromise, without even knowing it. ;)
people in love can do strange things. the wierder they are, the wierdest things they'll do , in the name of looooove.
Repent, later.

am i normal?

;) well just wanted to make sure. i took a test. n they say...

"You Are 30% Normal"

(Occasionally Normal)
You sure do march to your own beat...
But you're so weird, people wonder if it's a beat at all
You think on a totally different wavelength
And it's often a chore to get people to understand
_____________________________________
that isnt fair, im 70% normal. these test are all crap. why to i take them? :D

wanna try? ;)

...

i must be tense cause its written all over my face... in pink spots :
damn, i have pimples. this morning i woke up n i just coudnt believe the mirror. oh god, how much i hate achne. :((( i have got somethings on my mind, n now theres an extra load of this, too...)

btw iv heard, that if you get agitated by achne it gets even worse.
hmmm... hey pimple! so sweet of you!, . you should be preserved in a case than to spot my humble face. :DDD (leave me alone! for God's sake! :(
( i better increase my water intake.) hmmmmmmmmm

experience?

to learn from your mistakes, you have to make them first.

if u can, better learn from others', so that you save yourself some life.

(STD. quotes by flick 8)

...

http://paintings.name/artists/rumiana_koleva.php

...

...frodo eyes...http://www.janinejohnston.com/march-2003/galleries/sketchbook/sketch-1d.html

The Unsaid

it hurts you
it hurts me
your lips desert
my eyes haunting
holding up behind
a flood, a sea

ah! still we share!
then glee
and now,
this misery

(_flick_)

The Unanswered

if death parts us,
its a tragedy.
if cause unknown,
what would it be?
if death it were
i'd blamed the fate
but now its what?
not you, not me.
whose fault it is?
who is to blame?
no word, no wrong,
what broke us up?
..... so silently.
the life we shared,
the song we sang,
the bond we had,
... in vain... all plea.
oh friends we were!
sali, ash, n me.
what friends were we!
oh!... friends were we.
still we parted,
still we lost "us"
in hearts we know,

this loss,

this pain,

was never meant

.....to be.

(_flick_)

Parents: Fools, in Love...with us

yeah! we love our parents, but you know we have our own lives too, our dreams n our aspirations. n they dont understand.

ties breaking n family matters no more. their love thier support, all was for granted. they were obliged to do that. we used them n left them for good, to go about our own lives.

we disown the love weve got n run after the one we dont have.

values of love dont change, then how come we call one love n treat the other like nothing. are we blind of love now? or have we redifined it as it suits us?

..... "u know dad i love you!"...( yeah sure thats why i cant be there for you now. dont you get it? i dont need you any more.)

....." mom your the best!" ( but i better be out there looking for babes. so sorry im better off with my sweet-hearts, now.)

But these silly parents. still dont get it. still they feed us, when find us hungry. still, support us when we get weak. still cheer us, when we get low.

they must be madly in love with us.

what kind of love do they have for us? they should have left us on the streats, when we were born, n had gone about thier lives. dint my mom had her dreams. why did she forgot herself n pampered me? why is she so helpless? why is she so obliged to love me? is she really?

why should my mom n dad waste thier hard earned wealth on me, when they know im not gonna return that, even? why do i think my dad has to pay my bills or help me get started with my life, when im willing to do nothing for him?

children are like no profit-no return investment, be it an emotional one or a material investment, they r no good for nothing.

love begets love, but in our parents case this rule is not applicable, consider them unlucky, cause of us. poor souls! waste thier lives over nothing, called love.

some kids think parents have thier intrest in this material investment, that they do it for return. wow, seems like parents are fools again. they better had spend thier money in a stock market shares then spending on us. at least they wouldv gotten better returns. or they better had bought a puppy with thier money, at least he woudve given them some love.

.....its like, they love us and get a slap on the face for that.

in relations, in love, the profit-return is just love, i.e, simply being there for n caring for someone. and when they need it, lending them an ear, a shoulder, a heart.

the rules of love are the same, whether its your love affair or your realation with your parents.

the only favour and return for love is love itself.

what else can you give the ones who brought you in to this world n tenderly raised you from a helpless piece of meat in to a strong young man. accept it or not, you owe them your life. and if youll try to get even with them, youll run short of a life.

just be there for them, in happiness n in sorrow. pay them thier share of love... thats the least you could do.

For Heaven's Sake, My Heart!

by Khalil Jibran:

for heaven's sake, my heart, keep secret your love,

and hide the secret from those you see

and you will have better fortune.

he who reveals secrets is considered a fool;

silence and secrecy are much better for him

who falls in love.

for heaven's sake, my heart, if someone asks,

"what has happened?", do not answer.

if you are asked, "who is she?",

say she is in love with another

and pretend that it is of no consequence.

for heaven's sake, my love, conceal your passion;

your sickness is also your medicine becaue love

to the soul is as wine in a glass _ what you

see is liquid, what is hidden is its spirit.

for heaven's sake, my heart, conceal your troubles;

then, should the seas roar and the skies fall,

you will be safe.

.....

_ ANOKHA LAADLA _

http://www.actsofachievement.org.uk/2004/detail.php?EventID=20

anokha laadla

i had listened to this ghazal many times in early days. so dont really remember that very voice that i was used to . the only one i found available now , was Tina Sani's. hmmm..

http://www.raaga.com/channels/hindi/movie/G0000224.html

any way heres this song of the agony of burning desires.....

khelan ko maange chaaand re, Anokha laadla__kaisi anokhi baat re, Anokha laadla

tan ke ghao to bhar gaye daata

man ka ghao nahi bhar paata

jee ka haal samajh nahi aata

kaisi anokhi baat re, anokha laadla__khelan ko maange chand re, anokha laadla

pyaas bujhey kab ik darshan se

tan sulgey bas aik agan mein

man boley rakh lon main man mein

kaisi anokhi baat re, anokha laadla__khelan ko maange chand re, anokha laadla

jis pe na beeti woh kab janey

jag waley aaye samjhaney

pagal man koi baat na maney

kaisi anokhi baat re, anokha laadla__khelan ko maange chand re, anokha laadla

Love: Madness ~ Love: Secrets

What Love Become (Madness) ~ What Love Become (Secrets)
_paintings by Debora J. Bork
http://www.mofa.fsu.edu/flnat2003.html

in the words of Ghalib,

ISHQ MUJH KO NAHIN,VEHSHAT HI SAHI...
MAIREE VEHSHAT TAREE SHOHRAT HI SAHI

(You say) It is not love, be it madness _ My madness may be the cause of your fame
Apni Hasti He Se Ho Jo Kutch Ho _ Aa'gahee Gar Nahin Gaflat Hi Sahi
Whatever you are, it is due to your own being _ If that isnt known then be there ignorance

http://oldpoetry.com/oprintall/Ghalib%20Mirza%20Asadullah%20Khan

i just love this ghazal by ghalib, n this couplet has always haunted me. infact this whole concept of love n madness is so confusing.....like the point where dreams and realities cross over in time.

ahh how many times they do, n leave me perplexed...

secret ambitions

ah! mmmmmmmmm ssssoooooooo tired. ssoooo drained. oh my eyes! oh my neck!ohhhhh. aiehhh! this posture has ruined me. just sitting here in this damn chair, remids me of "the hunch back of notre dam". .is it gonna be my future?...

hm! hope not. :(((

. just saw the first prints of the project, im about to complete, hopefully. :) n it looks good :)))

though im gonna submit it tomorrow, incomplete, but... hope to manage the whole rendering n presentation thingys before the display n jury. InshaAllah.

:) hm, hope. they pick it.

i need all the luck n the stars n all the silent prayers youve got.

:)

times up! gtg!

( project bula raha hai,seetee baja raha hai! lalalal lalalal lalala)

TU HI TU

last night I happened to hear some wierd things about some realated people and thier lives, what they had expected from it, what they had planned, and what happened to all that.

How different we all are. Each soul is unique, each life is different. Still, each one has the same centre, the same centrifugal force that spins it in circles n circles, and that is Allah Almighty's Will. We think its our lives, our stories, what ever we do, what ever we say.

But its all His show, n His only.

So, I put it down in a few words.

tasveer mein bhi "Tu" hi "Tu"

tadbeer mein bhi "Tu" hi "Tu"

*

"wo" hai tou bas ta-shaoor

teht-a''shaoor, bas "Tu" hi "Tu"

*

tehreer mein "mera" zikr

bain-a''satoor, "Tu" hi "Tu"

*

afsana yeh, "uska-mera"

haqqana bas, "Tu" hi "Tou"

(_flick_)

...

.....tairey bin nai lagda dil maira sohnia!...missing you like hell! :)

Mairay Derd ko jo Zubaan Milay

For the very first time I heard this touching piece of poetry in Nayyara Noor's devine voice, and Arshad Mehmood's composition on top of that, courtesy of the dear old PTV (the nostalgia).

hm. as they say it in punjabi : "haaaaihhh!!! THAAN MERJAWAAN!" ;) ..this was the effect on my heart n soul. :). loved it. And always hummed it since then. Despite my barely struggling singing talent, ive even tried singing it to my sis, (just for a change from singing in the shower as I always do)... haha poor soul, she always has to bare me. :D great na? ;) ...well she has to pay some price of sharing my room. 8)

Well as I was saying, this ghazal, Ive always felt it close to my soul. May be 'cause it holds the same questions of existance and human soul, that have always intrigued, perplexed, & almost plagued me...

Its been written by Faiz Ahamad Faiz, (in 1972), and is taken from his book "Shaam-e-Shehr-e-Yaraan".

Maira derd naghma-e-besadaa

mairee zaat zarrah-e-benishaan

*

mairay derd ko jo zubaan milay

mujhey apna naam-o-nishaan milay

*

mairee zaat ka jo nishaan milay

mujhey raaz-e-nazm-e-jahaan milay

*

jo mujhey yeh raaz-e-nihaan milay

mree khamoshee ko bayaan milay

*

mujhey kainaat ki serwaree

mujhey daulat-e-dojahaan milay

the myth of passion___continues

dunia jisey kehtey hain

jadoo ka khilaona hai

mil jaye tou mitte hai

kho jaye tou sona hai

___

the world we call it,

is a magic box

you have it, its dust.

you lose it, its gold

Still my eyes are soaring, I see ...all holes. The nothingness of it all, the point of no point. I cant fall free, I cant indulge, I cant feel the passion of life. the faces, the memories, the moments, the life, the dream, all seem ashes n dust. Except for the one being, the omnipresence, I see all black. My breath, my life, my soul all hanging up in space.
how will I fall for it? How will I live it till I live?

The Circle_ part II

_ journey from point "x" to "x".....with all the bz cz, dz,...inbetween....* is "x" the point? ...OR... the "In Between" ???

...the question remains.

_____

Why do the things that turn us on so magically, turn us off so easily.

Emotions so strogly felt, the only truths of those moments, the moment passes n they lose thier whole meaning. do "we" have this "on & off switch of passion", in our own hands?

_____

Why cant the intoxication remain till the last breath of our lives? Why do we have to see the death of those moments of indulgence, passion & life before death itself.

Why do i wake up?

why do i turn off?

Why do i see the end of the road?

Why do i crave for destination or destiny?

_____

someone said: "destination of all journeys is thier beginning". so may be there is nothing like "the end" or "the destiny"... its all a journey. Probably this journey is the life _ the whole point of our being.

_____

This does seems rational, but still I keep flickering, still I cant hold on to it, still every now n then, Im turned off.

I wanna get lost,

I wanna keep drunk,

I wanna feel the passion of every moment,

I wanna keep dreaming.

_____
But "my eyes" ...

...cant close my eyes.

They'r swollen, they hurt, but they dont close.

.....These "Eyes", dont let me "Dream".

India-Pakistan Border _ (Gundha Singh) Kasur

Recently, I happen to visit this border site at Kasur, as a part of my thesis project. The site was awesome. with the green fertile lands of Kasur on the banks of river Satluj. there i clicked

a few pics.

_the Kasur Border_Feroz pur (India) in view

MI3

or ...behind the "enemy" lines?... :-p

...the flag lowering ceremony, at the gates.

...the lush green argricultural fields of Gundha Singh (Kasur) on one side of the site